The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
