KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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