so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
