Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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