was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
