none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
