that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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