God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
