She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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