"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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