my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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