i can't believe i had my finger in that
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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