His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
