True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
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You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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