I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize