It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
