when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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