I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
