I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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