NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
