The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
