AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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