If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
