I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
