my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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