it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
