I wish i was in the wii world.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
