Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize