I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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