why didn't you poke me back
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize