if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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