she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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