Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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