I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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