I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
