i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
