i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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