Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
