How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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