she was so not down for the gang bang
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
send nudes
from the living room?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
