I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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