i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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