You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize