Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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