Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
