Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
should my penis look like a turkey
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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