Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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