Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
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Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.