there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME