What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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