Can Purell be used as lube?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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