There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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