It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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