Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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