You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.