I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.