did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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