I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
