I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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