why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize