Don't you send me to vm
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
